What we can learn from children at play

While Singapore can boast about its modern buildings, financial hub, and efficient public services, many people do find the inter-personal relationships here difficult to live with. One of the main reason (in my opinion) is our culture of the quest for righteousness over happiness.

Below is an interesting passage I come across in one of Harold S. Kushner's book ("How Good Do We Have to Be?"):

"I remember sitting in a park watching children at play. 2 children get into an argument, and one says to the other, "I hate you! I'm never going to play with you again!" For a few minutes, they play separately, and then they are back sharing their toys with each other. I remark to one mother, "how do children do that? How do they manage to be so angry with each other one minute, and the best of friends the next?" The other mother answers, "It's easy. They choose happiness over righteousness."

Righteousness means remembering every time someone hurt us or disappointed us, and never letting them forget it. Happiness means giving people the right to be human, to be weak and selfish and occasionally forgetful, and realizng that we have no alternative to living with imperfect people.

The quest for righteousness estranges people from each other; the quest for happiness enables them to get past their shortcomings and connect with each other."

Personally, in serving clients in their personal financial planning matters, I do come across many estranged relationships as a result of quest for righteousness (involving money or otherwise). I guess all of us one time or another disappoint one another. It is good wisdom to seek the quest for happiness over righteousness, just like the children at play. Life will be more meaningful.